Monday, April 26, 2010

Bologna Buns: The recipe = the body part

The Devious Domestic has heard your feeble cries for a new culinary masterpiece to wow the family and impress your social circle

Wait no more!
For today's triumph I have worn my red-gloved fingers to the bone, scouring dozens of dough encrusted charity recipe books.  You know the type...someone/thing needs a fundraiser and so everyone contributes their favorite chicken enchilada recipe and they print all 189 versions of chicken enchiladas in a book and then you are guilted into buying back your own chicken enchilada recipe, because yours is definitely the best recipe and you wouldn't think of making someone elses, especially since someone else's contains CREAM OF CHICKEN SOUP for pete's sake.

The following gem was found in the "Lobo Cookbook".  Now I should have known better than to look in a cookbook authored by a Mexican wolf, but hey, it was handy.  

BOLOGNA BUNS*              
"This is not a misprint, repeat...this is not a misprint

 1.  Slice 6 oz. bologna into thin strips somewhat resembling cadaver flesh

 2.  Add 2 Cups shredded cheddar cheese

 3.  Add 2 teaspoons chopped green onion

4.  Add 1 teaspoon sweet pickle relish

5.  Add 1 Tablespoon prepared mustard (don't be an idiot and try to add unprepared mustard because it is never on time)

6.  Add 1 C mayonnaise (May substitute lard or leftover cellulite)

7.  Mix above ingredients together in a bowl.  (I apologize for not having a picture of this step, but I when I finished this step I had to run to the bathroom and barf and then I forgot)

8.  Use hamburger or hotdog buns and fill with bologna amalgam*
*See apology #7 for absence of picture

9.  Wrap filled buns in foil and place in oven heated to 350 degrees.  

Feed it to someone who will actually eat it

Bone appetit!


Debi said...

You make me laugh, me love you long time, g.i. ;)

Sue said...

I never am more amused by a post than when I visit your blog. You are one clever lady.


Petersen's Puppies said...

Loaraine do you actually use those fancy little bowls when you cook?

Allyson & Jere said...

I'm disturbed beyond words here. Sick, sick SICK! But, the gloves were real pretty.

incognito said...

Eww. I found a hair in my bolgna buns. Oh wait,'s just a red feather.

Dem, Mem and Them said...


cindy said...

I actually saw this in the book and thought EWWW!

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