Last Minute Mother's Day Rescue

Have you already discovered that the carwash is out of Mother's Day cards?  That's what happens to slackers who don't wash their cars and don't care about their mothers.  However, my dear reader...Larainy is here to save your family inheritance.  I have composed a variety of sweet sentiments, one of which is sure to make your mother reach for the tissue that she keeps stuffed up her sleeve.  Get out your crayons and start coloring.  It's time to create.

Mom,

you were right.

I’m living in a van

down by the river.

~*~

Happy Mother’s Day…

here’s a hunk of government cheese

 

Mom,

I think I remember

The silly times the most

~*~

Like when you pretended you were dead

To see if I knew how to call 911

Whenever I hear

crickets in the garden on a summer night

~*~

I remember the sound you made 

wearing pantyhose

when you walked down the hall

to tuck me in

Mother,

I love you more than life

~*~

But you still can’t be

my Facebook friend

Thanks for naming me

Moonflower

~*~

It has only made me stronger

 (And I got the job in the hemp store - yea)

Mother,

I beg you

Please don’t marry

The little guy with the bowtie

blue walker, hearings aids,

and industrial strength eyebrows

who sits next to you in the dining room

at Sunset Towers

~*~

He only wants you for your body

Happy Mother’s Day!

Remember…

when you add an “S” to Mother

It spells smother