Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Osama's Stuff

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As expected, Osama Bin Laden's walled compound has yielded a treasure trove of information.  After a cursory initial assessment the following items have been discovered:


  • Although there was no television signal, Osama  owned pirated Arabic dubbed DVDs of every episode of "Sister Wives" 






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  • Bin Laden preferred "Pert" for conditioning his beard: 27 bottles on hand












  • In spite of his well known anti Western bias, all beds in compound fitted with 400 count Martha Stewart designed sheets




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  • A closet full of disguises including black hat, sunglasses and Z Z Top t- shirts






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  •  Well thumbed copy of George W. Bush's book "Decision Points" with  Arabic commentary scrawled in angry red sharpie throughout. (Commentary still in translation)





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And we haven't even started on the basement!



13 comments:

Cheeseboy said...

Holy crap, that is funny. The Pert had me really chuckling. This could be on Conan.

Sue said...

You are too funny, Laraine!

I wish this valuable information could get out to the general public. We could use a little break from all the drama.

;)

Sarah said...

Don't forget his stylish collection of turbans with labels for each day of the week sown in!

Holly said...

I have to tell you, when the news hit of his death, I felt nothing. Really, nothing. I was a tad horrified by the pics of Americans going wild in the streets. Your post is the first thing Osama related that I have had any real reaction to. Meaning, I almost peed myself.

laughingmom said...

HAHA! But only 400 count for the sheets - I'd expect better!

Anna M said...

those ARE nice sheets so I don't blame him.

And Pert? I was expecting Head and Shoulders... and Beards.

you're awesome, Quiche Laraine.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Forget the traditional news outlets. From now on, I'm coming here for updates!

Connie said...

Wow, your inside sources are good.
Can't wait to see more...don't keep me haning.

Middle-aged Mormon Man said...

Oh what a find! Not the stuff in Osama's compound, rather finding your blog! Funny, funny stuff.

just call me jo said...

I read where he just stocked up on a massive order of Pepsi and Coke. Did you see what a mess that million dollar pad was? I love your updates. Can't wait for the basement.

Melynda said...

Osama drama has filled out papers and airwaves. Good to see this, it really helps to put it all into perspective. Good stuff Larainy

karen said...

I like the notes in angry red sharpie. That was good...

Day Dreaming And Decorating said...

As usual you make me LMAO! You are a funny girl