Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Hair to the Chief

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork/AP) – It seems like Donald Trump won’t be adding presidential candidate to his list of achievements after all.

After months of flirting with running for office, Trump said Monday he won’t run for president, choosing to stick with hosting “The Celebrity Apprentice" over a bid for the Republican nomination.

Well newshounds, you have come to the right place for the inside scoop. Larainy's impeccable sources have uncovered the actual deliberative process that lead The Donald to forsake the campaign trail for the fake boardroom at NBC.

 The Donald

consulted his closest friend...

for advice.

The Donald:  It's time old friend, it is time.

The Hair: You're not cutting me again are you?  I still haven't recovered from that butchering last year.

The Donald:  You have nothing to complain about.  Normal not-the-donald men get their hair cut every month.

The Hair:  Stop, stop, that's horrifying.

The Donald:  We have to decide whether I am going to be the next President of the United States or whether I am just going remain the most powerful man in America.

The Hair:  (silence)

The Donald:  Speak up, tell me what you're thinking.  You know how I rely on your golden gossamer strands for advice and to keep my clever brain toasty warm and supple.

The Hair:  It's just that I think we have a good thing going right now.  When I am crouching on your head in the boardroom of Celebrity Apprentice and feel my strands lifting in the breeze of your hot air...(sob) I have never been so happy.

The Donald:  (Takes out handkerchief to wipe moistness from eyes)  You're right, as usual.  You always seem to help me find my priorities.

The Hair: Then you're not going to do it?

The Donald:  No.  I'm going to call another press conference and announce that I'm not running.

The Hair:  Oh my, I better apply more hair spray so I'll glisten in the light.  I love you Donald

The Donald:  I love you most.

The Hair:  Is this a good time to discuss the "No Helmet" clause that I want to add to our contract?


Sue said...

Your view of things never fails to amuse.

And Donald provides great fodder for a creative brain like yours.


Connie said...

Isn't it strange that the Donald is one of the wealthiest men in the country but obviously can't afford a mirror?

Love the whole conversation between he and his locks...so funny.

karen said...

I was a little relieved, actually. Goes to show you that money can't buy good taste.

The Bipolar Diva said...

This is great! hehehe

laughingmom said...

Loved this! For some reason, my mind read the Hair having Antonio Banderas' accent.

just call me jo said...

The man has had three or four wives and five or so children. Can none of these loved ones give the man a clue that his hair is heinous? It's like letting someone have spinach on her teeth and not telling. No, no, it's MUCH worse than that. There's probably a law against presidents having ridiculous comb overs (or whatever that is.) If not, it should be a law. I consider it more important than a U.S. birth certificate. They can be faked. Hair cannot. As we well know. Oh, my. That was more verbose than intended.

Michelle Teacress said...

I guess I'm relieved, but it sure would have been fun to watch the process. :)

Holly said...

I've never pictured the Donald's hair talking before but I have thought from time to time that it probably smells like a muskrat.

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

*sigh* I've got nuthin'. Now I have to read this to my husband, because he thinks I've lost my mind laughing alone in my office. He should know by now that means it is my Larainy time.

Melynda said...

There is the possibility that "the Donald" is not willing to take a back seat to "the Hair". I think future conversations in the White House might have been like this: "did you see that come-over this morning?". Where as Donald would like to hear: " did you hear what Donald said about foreign policy?". Sad to be jealous of you hair getting more attention......

Dixie Mom said...

I don't know which was more shocking....Trump considering candidacy or how much he really loves his own hair!