Monday, February 13, 2012

Best of the Worst at the Grammys

I know that you were all sipping Earl Gray and eating crustless watercress sandwiches made of triangular wonder bread whilst watching Downton Abbey yesterday evening, so I will give you an update on the other side of the culture wars with a gander at the Grammys.

Ms. Minaj accessorized with a faux Pope in a vain attempt to stave off the hell fire that is licking at her red robes

How courageous to show up to the party after a feral cat attacked you in the alley and slashed your pretty black frock to smithereens

It is a relief to all America to know that although Snooki has shed excess pounds, she has not shed ability to wear an outfit that makes us all thank our lucky stars that we weren't born in New Jersey

Jane Seymour had planned on keeping her heart wide open but was forced to shut it when she couldn't zip up her dress

Sales of cotton candy spiked again when Katy Perry showed up with a stack of sugary blue floss on her noggin

Multi-tasker Fergie prepared for a post Grammy dip in ll Cool j's  party hot tub by wearing her black lycra two-piece under her formal neon orange lace mermaid gown

Moscow's Sasha Gravida signaled that Russia is ready to rev up the cold war in a pink confectionary gown with a fully armed sleeve

Undaunted by a rabid raven attack, Corinne Bailey Rae lost one of her hemispheres of hair, but won the battle of the birds, proudly wearing the feathers of her vanquished foes

Even an avowed germaphobe can attend public events wearing an outfit woven of microban fibers and a detachable sit-shield to protect against infectious chair surfaces

If you are looking for Lady Gaga you will not find her here.  Nothing makes the Gagster madder than not appearing on my blog.

image found here
Did you know that 3 out of 4 Grammy's love watching the Grammy's?

red carpet photos found here


just call me jo said...

Oh, Larainy. You done 'er again, friend. Some of those pics really help me with my struggling self image. Maybe I'm not so bad after all.

Holly said...

I never watch these kinds of shows. I'm always so happy to have you recap for us. I'm with Jo, I'm feeling pretty good about myself right now.

Pondside said...

I missed the show (coming home from a mad shopping weekend with daughter in Seattle) but I wish I'd postponed my trip. There were ideas there - for Mother of the Bride outfits - that might have been helpful in my search!

Connie said...

Such fine descriptions of the awkward attire worn by these diva's of the music world. You gotta wonder what their mother's were thinking. Tisk, Tisk!!!

Grammy Goodwill said...

I'm that fourth grammy - the one who doesn't watch the show. Aren't those outfits ridiculous? What ARE they thinking?

Pearl said...

I don't think I've ever watched the Grammys, so I am thankful that you posted these pictures, although I now have to rethink how best to accessorize for work tomorrow, now that it seems EVERYONE is sportin' a pope these days...


Sue said...

You're better than the show itself!


RoeH said...

I'm thinkin' how courageous you were to watch the WHOLE thing for this wonderful blog post that our teenage YW girls can relate to. I watched nearly all of it just waiting for the Beach Boys to come on. They were kinda the only ones I really liked. But then I slept through a lot. I thought they did pretty well for a bunch of old codgers from the 60's.

Hey! I'm from the 60's. I can say that. :)

Lisa Ricard Claro said...

Who needs the Grammys? I'd rather visit Larainy for the highlights. As usual, your twisty take is nothing short of brilliant.

Cherie said...

I watched the Grammys (and then Downton :-D) and the women seriously need help. Fergies is just ridonkulous - So glad you didn't include GAGA - ICK!!! Gag Gag

The picture at the end makes me laugh the most!

karen said...

I guess I missed the Red Carpet part, but I got enough just watching the Grammy's. It's one of the first years where my husband and I felt old and out of it. One of our favorites was Taylor Swift - she is so fresh and adorable. Jennifer Hudson's tribute to Whitney Houston was also beautiful.
I have to say, though, that I just love Lady Gaga. (Sorry Cherie) I do. She rocks, and her music makes me get moving.

MTeacress said...

How'd you do that with the Pope?