Friday, June 18, 2010

Codgeriatricity

When I accused my husband Mark, (who I am going to call Marcus for purposes of anonymity) of acting like an old Codger he just started to laugh and didn't deny it.  Of course if you know what an old Codger is that means you automatically are one.  Women of course, cannot be old Codgers.  We avoid codgeriatricity like the plague.

However, we women do get old and I think we need a cool song to sing about olderness, so I have adapted, aka "stolen" the lyrics of "Hey Soul Sister" from Train to fit my purposes.

Hey Old Sister 
Train
(Adapted by Larainy Days)

Hey, hey, hey

You've got lipstick stains
on your front tooth
also spider veins
I knew I wouldn't forget you
And so I went and let you
Blow my mind

Your wrinkle cream
The smell of you in every
Single dream I dream
Ever since our carts collided
In the parking lot at Walmart
Our love could not subside

Hey old sister
Don't you call me mister
I'm just old like you, gray like you
The way we move ain't fast, you know
Hey old sister
I can't hear 
a single thing you say
Tonight

Hey, hey, hey

Just in time
I'm so glad you have
A sluggish mind like me
You give backseat direction
 Offer me the whole sport section
Make me wanna cry

I'm so obsessed
My heart is bound to beat
Right out my hair chest
I need my digitalis
Oh how can you be so callous
and I'm sure I'm going to blow out my heart valve

Hey old sister
Don't you call me mister
I'm just old like you, gray like you
The way we move ain't fast, you know
Hey old sister
I can't hear 
A single thing you say
Tonight
 The way you vacuum the rug
Watching you is the only drug I need
So peppy, I'm a slug
You're the only one I'm dreaming of

You see, I can be myself now finally
In fact I'll let my eyebrows grow
Listen to Glenn Beck's talk show
Hey old sister
Don't you call me mister
I'm just old like you
The way we move ain't fast, you know
Hey old sister
I can't hear 
a single thing you say
Tonight


Hey old sister
I can't hear 
a single thing you say
Tonight
Hey, hey, hey
Tonight
Hey, hey hey
Tonight




4 comments:

Sue said...

Right on, sistah!

(At least I haven't descended into cougeriatricity.)

I pride myself on that.

=)

Sarah said...

That was so funny! Hey-ay!

criticalcrass said...

hey. thanks for reading picky and leaving it some love. i'm glad you liked the post. :]

Nishant said...

i'm glad you liked the post.
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