Sunday, June 6, 2010

What to do on Your Summer Vacation

Time to live out some of those aspirations you've
been dreaming of during the long cold winter.

  • Check out the West Coast

Due to statewide budget cuts, volunteer security guards have been recruited by Gov. Schwarzenegger,
and are currently patrolling downtown Hollywood, California

  • Expand your scientific horizons

Tour the obscure but interesting underground genetics lab 
in Fargo, North Dakota, and purchase a 
"Miniature Self Cloning" kit in the gift shop. 
You need never be lonely again!

  • Try a new culinary adventure
Turn one state south and you will find a variety of
edible native roadside grasses that will make your hair curl 
and your shorts creep up to alarming levels.

  • Rekindle the passion

If you are searching for a romantic getaway, 
look no further than the
"The Little Cottage on Lover's Lane Bed & Breakfast" 
located in dreamy eastern Nebraska, 
where you will be greeted by your fun loving hosts
Fergus and Wanda Glumsky

 And no need to worry about childcare while you're 
away on your romantic retreat.
Uncle Vinny's Gothic Daycare  
will take loving care of your little darling.*

*Pay in advance and your child receives a free tattoo!

  • Expand your literary horizons
For the youngsters, nothing says fun like a summer
trip to the local library with a loving older brother.

  • Take along a family friend
Worried about what to do with family pet while you're traveling?
Why not make it portable like Lou and Cindy Arnoldson did 
with their beloved cat, Snowball?* 

*Caution:  involves boiling in acid and loss of life

  • Support our troops

 Does Jr. display a propensity for law enforcement?
How about a week at  
Colonel Mike Madsen's Military Camp*

*Located down a long dirt road behind the razor wire somewhere in southeast Texas.  
Password is "Geronimo"

  • Develop your talents

For the musically inclined, look no further than
Cissy Shutak's Summer Accordion & Harmonica Camp
located in the tall pines just outside the polka capital of 
North America, Squeegee Wisconsin

 Have fun and don't forget the sunscreen!

Photos found at Sexy People 
and awkward family photos
and in Debbie's family album 


Pam said...

cat skeleton? OMG, that's kinda creepy...hahaha

The Bipolar Diva said...

that was so funny! Loved it :)

Melis said...

That babysitter reminds me of some people we met while living in Gisela. This leathered and tatoo'd man came up and told us he would keep our baby anytime. The phrase "We like babies" will NEVER be the same :)

Sue said...

I always love your captions, AND the insane pictures you find.

Thanks for the laughs.


Laurel said...

James expects and deserves royalties for your use of this picture. Time to plump up his mission fund!

Pondside said...

Thanks for the laugh. When we moved to Oklahoma for a year in the 80's we met our neighbour as he went after his daughter with a shotgun (I am not making this up!) I choked every time the neighbour later asked us why we got a sitter for our son, when he and his wife loved children and would keep him any time.
I was very glad it was only a year.