Thursday, June 3, 2010

Welcome to the Slush Pile

As a writer, I have had my share of false starts. 
Here are a few of them.

Tallulah had never been the most talkative stalk in the asparagus bunch.

As Leburta brushed her auburn locks, memories of Reynaldo caused static electricity to fill the night air of her bedchamber with tiny sparks like fireflies.

Dust had been Dusty's destiny since the day he was born destitute in a barn outside of Denver.

Saliva dripped off Gerard's fangs like sparkling mist and Deidre, weakening, imagined she heard violins through the pine trees.

Stan was a good cop with a bad attitude; a combination that solved a lot of crimes but had sent his sainted mother to an early grave.

As Perry shifted uncomfortably in the tight confines of his cubicle, he once again regretted the extra spicy chalupa from the night before.

As the sunset melted like liquid margarine over the barren landscape, Marjorie was harshly reminded of her childlessness.

To begin the start of the story, Adam thought about the first time he had heard the tale of his birth.

Once upon a time in the magical flower kingdom, the princess Lacey was stabbed 17 times by her power hungry father, the King.

Caitlin's heart beat in steady rhythm to the stealthy steps of the studly stalker steadily striding behind her.


Matthew Rush said...

This is obviously a joke, but still ... fabulous!

Pam said...

This post is destined to be a classic...just like Perry's chalupa. LMHineyO

Sunshine and Shadows said...

After all those false starts, my mind read burst in her chest.

Sue said...

My goodness. Sheer literary genius.


Anonymous said...

Whenever I'm stuck in my writing, I jot down a few ridiculous first lines...

My name is Shawn, and I have a fear of tapeworms.

Beth's tongue slithered, eel-like, around Jared's moist oral cavity, stumbling over a canker sore, a piece of day-old apple skin wedged between the lower canine and 1st molar on the left side, and a freely flowing abcess before concluding she made have made a phenominal mistake.

When Molly came home from school, she noticed her mother had left out the gravy again.

Sarah said...

Oh you crack me up. Thanks for this blog!

I look through your archives only a few at a time so I can prolong the pleasure of all your hilarity. Does that make me psycho? Just a little bit?

Joanne Fox said...

Now how can you tease us with such cracking starts and not continue? I'm dying to know the fate of destitute Dusty outside Denver.