Thursday, May 6, 2010

So You Want to Name Your Baby

From time to time I like to provide public service because I am a good person. Some of you might call me a “giver”, especially if you ever want me to give you anything.

In that spirit I am giving to a very specific group; those who are currently pregnant or compiling meaningful baby names for the children that are at present only a gleam in the eye (or another unnamed sensation in another unnamed body part).

A child should be given a name that fits. They should not be given some random title that has nothing to do with who they really are, or who they will become. My list of baby names will help you look honestly at your child, and give them a name to aspire to, or settle into comfortably.

You’re welcome.

Incognita (woman of mystery)
Corpulance (husky)
Smartin (genius)
Pungentifer (odiferous)
Borine (Placid)
Musicallie (lyrical)
Violentcia (volatile)
Scarietta (ominous)
Lackadaisy (easy going)
Punctualbert (always on time)
Shiftina (for the child that won’t look you in the eye.  *See above)
Aeorodominic (pointed head)
Herniandy (should avoid heavy lifting)
Delisha (peaches and cream complexion)
Awkwardo (uncoordinated)
Damonic (don’t give him access to matches)
Stealthine (sneaky)
Obsequianna (humble)
Lethallen (dangerous)
Redunford (boring)
Therapeuticia (should consider the medical field)
Uniqua (only child)
Volatim (for the boy with a short fuse)
Zestephanie (dramatic)
Stingina (won’t share her lunch)
Squeamisha (refuses to kill spiders)
Psychoticarol (unsafe around pets)
Punyelle (petite)
Noxic (half obnoxious/half toxic)
Fumbelina (clumsy)
Weirdarla (cute but strange)
Aromatthew (smelly)
Meagun (small arms dealer)
Trashley (sanitation engineer)

Any other ideas?


Matthew Rush said...

God this is funny. Especially Aromatthew, and not just because that's my name. Okay maybe that's a small part of it.

Thanks for sharing Laraine!

Sue said...

I will send this list to my DIL immediately. Who needs a baby name book when we have you?


Melis said...

Oh man. I should've read this list BEFORE I named my last baby. Funny!

Greg and Elisha Reese said...

Delisha...looks one letter off from Elisha? Did you give my mom this list?

Emily Widdison said...

thank you so much! I was wondering what I should name this baby--now I have a list to choose from!

Anna M said...



And I would bet you 5 BUCKS that there is a Musicallie somewhere in Utah.

Jon Paul said...

Great list.

Can I add Intravenus {universal blood donor} to the pile?

Anne said...

So, I read your comment on Emily's blog. Just give me a call, I have all the keys and the schedule. It's booked all summer but is available in the fall.

The Fillmore Family said...

Oh my, oh my. I had forgotten how fun it was to read your blog. I'm going to have to check in more often, especially on a day like today! By the way, you forgot one name. "HI, Grace, how are you," said my brother-in-law as I stumbled down the stairs from the stand after a choir number." And weren't you there when I was leading the music for my son's eagle and I didn't know there was an organ pit. All of a sudden, in the middle of the song, I disappeared and everyone gasped until I reappeared again, smile intact. Yes, they should have named me Grace. Now that I can only see with one eye and have no depth perception, that is a regular occurence, but I always come up smiling. Yep, they should definitely have named me Grace. Love, Joanne

Jenny said...

Really another clever post! I'm loving your style here, girl!

Anastasia said...

damn it! I have already named mine.

Mike and Kari said...

This came just in time! With only eight weeks left all I had come up with were meaningless names like Whitney or Tatum, but now I think we're going to go with Meagun Herniandy. And don't worry, I will always give you the credit.

Amy in Aussieland said...

You left one out:
Larainium (one who radiates nuclear funnyzomes)